My family&I

I never rant about something unless I'm really stressed out. Believe it or not, it takes a lot to stress me out. So Last Sunday I was told to do some vocal thing with my friends on this coming Friday at 7:30 pm. I was like fine. And this is for CHURCH. The house of the LORD. I thought my mom was not going to be working on Friday since she works at night. She never told me her schedule for the week. I assumed she wasn't working on Friday. Anyways, she is and I have to go to my dad's house (big bummer) Today, I ask him if I can go to church at 7:30 pm on Friday and he's like no. Even though I will be getting picked up and dropped off by a FREAKING PASTOR. ANDDDDD I won't even be going FUCKING ALONE. But this bum ass ... just UGH. And this ass hole is still saying no. I suppressed my anger, but trust me if I didn't know how to control my emotions pencil shavings would be in his eyes. My mom is being stressful too. I'm going to work my ASSS off to get to UCLA so I can have my own DAMN rules and I can just get away from them all. I love them, but I don't think it's best I'm under their rules. I mean I don't do drugs, i rarely go out, I get good grades. But being around them I feel suffocated. My mom is not the same ever since my elder sister became more distant then ever. We rarely talk and we always argue. She annoys me the most even though I used to be so close to her. I don't hate her, but i hate being around her. She's not straight forward and just ugh can't even describe it. My mind is so overwhelmed. My dad barely spends time with me and is always working. Neither of them know the real me. It's just my 2 friends who understand me. I could never hate my parents. EVER. But I don't think I'm best living under the same roof. I think it's just best I stay a distance from them. Visit once in a while, but that's it. I would go to my dad for financial advice and a once in a while chat, but I think that's it. Trust me I will work hard to make my dreams come true and earn lots of money, and I will give him the best health and little condo I can. But I don't know if I would visit ever day. Just a once in a while. Oh god forgive me for saying that. The same follows with my mom. I just admire those families who are together and have family vacations and make jokes together and understand each other. I don't have that. But I know it's for a reason. God gave me this LIFE for a reason. I'm from the Bronx, the poorest borough in NYC. He wants me to become SOMETHING. I know He does. I feel it in my blood. I feel it. But HE wants me to pursue my dreams and become what I am supposed to be. I am able to achieve anything I want if I FIGHT for it. I WILL! YOU WATCH ME!!!!!!!!!! I WILL. : If you give up at the first sign of struggle, you aren't really ready to be successful." -Unknown

Blood will ALWAYS be thicker than water.

Hello guys sorry for not updating much. I hope you guys don't mind me ranting. I graduated and I was happy and I spent a few weeks chilling. Before school ended, I asked my friends Tianna, Janice, Jedediah, and Shantel if they wanted to go to Dorney Park with me. They all said, " Yeah, let me ask my mom." After graduation, I decided to wait until June 26 to give them a little bit of time to enjoy their summer before I pester them about the trip. June 26 comes, I call Tianna and no answer. Her phone bill is out. I see if she's on facebook: offline. Then with Jedediah, I text her and ask her if she's going, she's like " Yeah." She then asks me who is going as a parent and Shantel's mom is supposed to be chapperoning. I text Shantel, no freaking answer. I call Shantel: no damn answer. I'm walking my dog Eliot and I go see Shantel's mom. I ask her if Shantel can go, her mom says no because of some Jehovah's witness something another. So I reply to the mom and I'm like, " Yeah, ok." When I walk past her I'm pissed. If I never asked Shantel's mom, I never would have known that Shantel can't go. Whether it was on purpose or not, she should have told me. So now, things are falling apart. I text Jedediah, and she's like, " Okay, I'll get my mom to come." Couple days later on July 2 or so, Jedediah tells me her mom can't come and she doesn't think she can either. I'm just thinking, " Oh my freaking God." I text Janice and see if she can go and she's like " Yeah I have to ask my mom." I'm just thinking, " WTF you were supposed to do that shiz weeks ago!!!!!! You make it like I told you 25 minutes ago. If you were serious about this, you would have asked weeks ago." Anyways, I'm like can you visit Tianna's house to see if she's still going?" Janice is like, " Sure, I'll go tomorrow." I text her the day after.... no response. Even now! Overall, I'm kind of pissed, if you had no intention of going or weren't serious, then say you couldn't come. I was waiting days and days excited that we would all be together. But it's like I can't depend on people. I always put so much into a friendship, but I never get the same. I just hope in highschool, I find better friends. I'm sick of this. I'm going to ask my cousin if he can go. Blood is thicker then water. Always remember that.