My Terrible Winter Break

I'm trying to express my feelings because I am growing more and more upset. I'm using this blog just to throw out my emotions because it hurts more and more feeling unwanted. My mom, I just don't understand her. She blames me for everything and she makes it as if she's never made a mistake. She makes it as if she was never a teenager going through the emotions, looking from love from her family and friends, and she thinks she is so perfect. She values her brother over me her own freaking daughter! She never sees anything negative he does. He told me to SHut the Fuck up right in her face and she did nothing. She thinks I'm trying to break "her" family apart. A family broke up because I said I wanted an hour to myself. A FAMILY BROKE UP BECAUSE OF SUCH FOOLISHNESS! I can't even comprehend it. Things like this just makes me want to drift away from her. My cousin wastes food more than I do and the one time that I do I get in a lot of trouble. Maybe I should cut her some slack since she's 9 years old but this 9 year old doesn't like washing dishes nor doing her homework. I care for her, but I just feel so distant with people who I know I can't rely on. My uncle is fake as hell. Phony 2 sided person. He will be that person who will smile in your face and talk so much crap when you aren't there. My mom is just like that too. My cousin wastes more food then I do she'll tell my cousin that when her dad isn't there. But if he's there, she'll keep her mouth shut. She excludes me out of her "family." She blames me for everything that isn't a silver lining. I don't look up to her. Sometimes I imagine what it will feel like to be 18. But before that I want to start my dreams I'll be starting classes for my dream. Wish me luck. Maybe when I'm older the relationship will be better. I hope it is. I do. I truly do.

Gon Be On iT

SO you want to play me? Smile in my face, but be double sided when I ain't there Talk mad shit when I'm casper, but be my friend when I'm Kat Pretend you love me, pretend you give a dime for my thoughts, but rather all you know how to do is get me prosecuted I am sympathetic and forgiveful but not no mo. When I consume my dream and you see me on them billboards over the globe Don't say nothing' to me. Cuz I worked my ass off without any of ya'll helps. I made it because of me and the people gave a flying fuck about me

my Anger

So, they say if you write out your feelings the feeling will subside. So, in Living Environment this girl oh god. She got me so upset. I could feel the adrenaline adrenaline pumping in my blood. So on the test I had a hard time finding out the answer to a problem and I needed to go to the bathroom. I raised my hand and i asked to go to the bathroom. Then, the girl is like " The bathroom is locked." So reckon, there re 7 floors in my school. so about 5-6 floors have bathrooms. My L.E class is on the 5th floor. Anyways, I said I could go to the 3rd floor bathroom then. Then, she looks at me and gives me a mean look with attitude. And it's like she's treating me as if I am stupid so I said. " I didn't know damn." Then she looks at me and if like, " Yo who are you talking to?" Then I reply, " I did not know all the floors' bathrooms were closed. You only said one." Then her other fucking friend wants to say a remark too. So yeah. I was upset. but you know what FUCK both of them :) . I mean it from the bottom of my heart. While i see their asses in mcdonalds I will fight my way to my personal goals. No mother fucker is stopping me.

I hate school

I hate school. I get good grades, but I never see the point. I'm never happy in school. My happiness just goes away. When I was younger I Had all these aspiring dreams in the medical field, but now the only thing that makes me happy is acting. I have a hard time sitting still. I do. I can't be confined. It hurts sitting in a chair for so long. It truly does. I need to walk, move, and it hurts so much. But I will be an actress! I WILL FIGHT FOR IT! Just wait for me please. I promise I'll stay good.