My Terrible Winter Break

I'm trying to express my feelings because I am growing more and more upset. I'm using this blog just to throw out my emotions because it hurts more and more feeling unwanted. My mom, I just don't understand her. She blames me for everything and she makes it as if she's never made a mistake. She makes it as if she was never a teenager going through the emotions, looking from love from her family and friends, and she thinks she is so perfect. She values her brother over me her own freaking daughter! She never sees anything negative he does. He told me to SHut the Fuck up right in her face and she did nothing. She thinks I'm trying to break "her" family apart. A family broke up because I said I wanted an hour to myself. A FAMILY BROKE UP BECAUSE OF SUCH FOOLISHNESS! I can't even comprehend it. Things like this just makes me want to drift away from her. My cousin wastes food more than I do and the one time that I do I get in a lot of trouble. Maybe I should cut her some slack since she's 9 years old but this 9 year old doesn't like washing dishes nor doing her homework. I care for her, but I just feel so distant with people who I know I can't rely on. My uncle is fake as hell. Phony 2 sided person. He will be that person who will smile in your face and talk so much crap when you aren't there. My mom is just like that too. My cousin wastes more food then I do she'll tell my cousin that when her dad isn't there. But if he's there, she'll keep her mouth shut. She excludes me out of her "family." She blames me for everything that isn't a silver lining. I don't look up to her. Sometimes I imagine what it will feel like to be 18. But before that I want to start my dreams I'll be starting classes for my dream. Wish me luck. Maybe when I'm older the relationship will be better. I hope it is. I do. I truly do.